Another End and Food Struggles

I didn't get a post up yesterday because my son had his winter gymnastics show and my husband's grandmother passed away.  My mother-in-law, father-in-law, and my husband's grandfather were all in the room with her as she breathed her last.  In many ways this is a blessing as she hasn't really been herself in several years due to Alzheimer's, and my husband's grandfather was wearing himself out taking care of her full-time.  She was in her late 80s and had lived a long, full life with her husband, children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren.  Even so, the finality of this goodbye is still hard for the people left behind.

Last evening we went over to my husband's grandfather's house, along with my husband's cousins and their families.  I think having so much activity and having all the kids there eased the pain a bit for my husband's grandfather.  Once the service is finished and everyone returns to their normal lives, the difficult journey of him learning to live alone will begin.  I hope that he's able to make that transition since he's still very healthy and spry and should still have some good years left.  Although the worry is that he won't deal with it well and will start to go downhill.  In some ways I think that's what my mother-in-law is more concerned about right now than even the loss of her mother.

I'm having a really difficult time with my eating today.  I'm not entirely sure why, but I REALLY want to eat something horrible for me with lots of calories.  Maybe it's because I'm so tired today, or because I'm dealing with some emotion over recent events even if it's not to the same degree as it would be with my grandmother, or maybe it's a combination of those things.  I've managed to not give into this impulse, even though I forgot my breakfast this morning, so was VERY tempted to run over to Starbucks on my way into the office.  I actually hit the elevator button for the floor where the Starbucks is located in the building.  But then just closed the doors again and rode up to the 23rd floor.  Instead of indulging I remembered the oatmeal I had in my desk and ate that.  I'm also pretty worried about eating well over the next week when family is going to be coming into town for the service, so I definitely can't make poor choices when I am in control of the food in front of me.  I don't want to start sliding backwards, I need to get to a more comfortable weight.  I just wish this wasn't so difficult!

This isn't a great photo since I only had my phone camera, but the colors outside my office window this morning were very stunning, so I had to grab a shot of it.

Today was one of those beautiful Colorado winter days with lots of sunshine.  These pictures are from my walk this afternoon to pick my son up from school.