Home Sweet Home

I got back from my visit to Illinois to see my grandmother late last night. I had a nice time with my  mom, grandma, aunts, uncles, and cousins; and I'm really glad I went. I was also extremely glad to get home. My grandma has always lived an exceptionally busy life as a farmer with a quadriplegic husband who she cared for single-handedly, and five children. She never had much time for housekeeping, and she's unable to part with ANYTHING. When my grandpa was alive, the house stayed relatively neat because they had to be able to get his wheelchair around the house. In the fourteen years since he's died, the house has become something you might see on an episode of hoarders. Since my grandma is older and slower, and spends all of her time either gardening or cooking, she still doesn't focus on housekeeping, and the house has become unpleasant. While I still love getting out on the farm and seeing the people, I just can't ever stay in that house again. There's not a surface in the place that isn't covered in dust, cat hair, and dog hair.

Getting there was a real adventure. Our flight from Denver got loaded and was ready to leave a couple of minutes early when the pilot came on the PA system and announced that there was a light on that maintenance had to check. He said it would only take 15 or 20 minutes. So over an hour later, we were finally airborne. Our layover was only 1/2 hour to begin with, so we were going to be cutting it extremely close. We got to Detroit and walked off the jetway and into the terminal at 9:30, and our connecting flight was supposed to be leaving at 9:33. But instead of a gate number next to our flight, it showed already departed. Of course there were no more flights from Detroit to the small airport in Bloomington, Illinois that night. We stood in line for a few minutes listening to the airline employee telling the people in front of us that they might be able to get on the 6:00 am flight, but it was already oversold. I turned to my mom and told her we were getting a rental car and driving the six hours to my grandma's house. So we got in at 3:20 on Thursday morning.

Coming home didn't start out any better. My grandma doesn't have a computer, and I couldn't even get cell service at her house, so we were planning on printing our boarding passes at the airport yesterday afternoon. But when I went to print them, they were for this morning. So I went up to the counter where I was told that since the flight would be delayed leaving Bloomington so we would miss our connecting flight in Atlanta, that we had been automatically rebooked. I told the gentleman behind the counter that after having problems on the way out and having to improvise, I intended to get home last night. So he changed our flight to Minneapolis, and put us on a connecting flight with another airline. He was very helpful and got us good seats on both of the return flights. So we ended up getting back to Denver at about the same time we had originally planned and I got home a little after 10 pm last night.

I really enjoyed being outside with no one else around. We helped my grandma to pick 13 gallons of tomatoes and 3 gallons of cucumbers out of her garden. We pulled pears, apples, and peaches off of the trees in her orchard and ate fresh fruit. I visited with my cousins and took lots of pictures of their adorable children. I got to hang out with my grandma who will be 89 in November and watch her still get around the farm and do all the steps in her house. She's not as quick as she once was, but she still goes. I got to see my aunt who just turned 64 and isn't doing very well. I'm not sure how much longer she'll be with us, so we took my grandma to her house several times to hang out with my aunt. I got to go for walks (never did find time for a run) and listen to nothing but the cicadas and the wind in the corn.

The time away from the stresses at work wondering about the long-term stability of my company and my job was exactly what I needed. Getting to hang out with people who are very different from me and still love me unconditionally was pretty wonderful. Traveling with my mom and getting some time to visit with her without constant interruptions from my children was also pretty great.

I am always reminded of how much I appreciate my husband when I spend time away from him. So I intend to fully enjoy his company tonight. I was planning on posting a few of pictures on here, but our internet is down tonight. Sigh... #FirstWorldProblems

10-Day Challenge Progress Report #3

My third 10-day challenge was as expected, a failure. I gained 1.6 pounds over the 10 days, and am now down overall only 4.1 pounds instead of the 9 pounds I should be down at this point. My nice regression line is no longer landing where I want it to by the time I wanted to reach my ultimate goal weight.

I have no idea what happened last Monday and Tuesday, especially Tuesday with only 687 calories. I did a pretty serious calorie-burning workout that day, and I guess that's what caused me to end up eating so few calories. But as you can see, pretty much every other day was a free-for-all.

This morning I was pretty much in the mindset of just giving up again. But I'm feeling differently right now. I just don't feel comfortable so I would like to lose more of this weight. Now I just have to figure out how to convince myself of that fact when I'm making decisions about food. I had been really wallowing in stress about the long-term stability of my job, but I've sort of come to terms with the fact that whatever happens will happen, and worrying doesn't change it or help anything. So hopefully I'll be able to course correct and get back on track for the next 10 days; provided that I don't overdo on the farm!

New Words, Failure, and Anticipation

I learned a new word today that describes something I've been doing a great deal of lately: lalochezia. (Thanks to Mental Floss.) It refers to the emotional relief gained by using indecent or vulgar language. I've been cussing up a blue streak lately because I've been so darn stressed out due to work. I know that many people are worried about the stability of their jobs in the current environment and that there is nothing unique going on in my situation. But it doesn't change the fact that I'm having a difficult time dealing with this stress on top of the recent changes for my children in their schools.

So of course I've been stress eating...knowingly. At this point I think it's pretty unlikely that I'm going to be successful with my current weight loss plan. I guess I just don't want it badly enough, since I'm allowing myself to choose comfort food, and lots of it, over healthy eating. I know that healthy eating would help me to manage my stress better, but instead I'm currently choosing to remain stuck in this vicious cycle.

One positive thing that is coming my way is a visit to Illinois to see my grandma. My mom is going with me so the three of us can spend some time together. I'm sure I'll see my aunts, uncles, and multitude of cousins while I'm there; but the plan is to spend as much time as possible with my grandma on her farm. We'll have to see how the eating goes out there as I'm sure I'll be served chicken pot pie, meatloaf, potatoes, and lots of desserts. Plus my grandma knows how much I love mints so she always stocks up when I visit. We're flying out this coming Wednesday afternoon, and coming home Sunday evening. I can hardly wait to spend some time out in the middle of nowhere where I won't see anyone but family. I'll be able to really see the stars at night, and the significantly lower altitude combined with no people around should make running much easier. I'll be sure to post lots of photos of the trip!

Here are a couple of pictures from my walk with my husband tonight. The awful wildfires are still making it pretty hazy here.

First-World Technology Problems and Stress Eating

I bought my Nikon D7000 camera in the spring of 2011. This wasn't a cheap purchase, and I saved up for quite some time before I bought it. Of course something that is over 4 years old can be somewhat ancient from a technology standpoint. I've loved it, and still do, but of course I'm starting to have some issues with the older technology. It doesn't do wireless uploads like the new models, so I have to have access to a computer to pull the images off the camera. We recently updated both of our main computers, including my laptop, to Windows 10. Now when I plug the camera into the computers via USB, the computers no longer see the pictures on the camera. I'm sure with a little research I can figure this out, and as a work-around until I have time to do that research, I've just been pulling the SD card out of the camera and plugging it into the computer to get my pictures. Now I'm fully aware that this is NOT a big deal, though I still feel frustrated sometimes with the pace of technology which can sometimes make things more difficult. Technology is supposed to make things easier for us! Anyway...

I'm pretty certain that my third 10-day challenge is going to be an abject failure. At this point I'll be lucky if I end up at the same weight I where I finished the last challenge. I think it's probably more likely that I'll weigh more. I just haven't been able to figure out how to keep making good eating choices. Last night I knew what I needed to eat for dinner, and then allowed my stress, (which I thought I was dealing with but one little extra thing threw me over the edge) and the associated physical symptoms, to derail my eating plan for dinner. I got some discomfiting news about work recently, and my flexible schedule, which just barely worked for my family as it was, is likely to be revoked in the not-too-distant future. With both of the kids starting at new schools this fall and no bus for my daughter, a schedule change will be extremely challenging for us. So while I thought I was dealing alright, my upset stomach and eating choices clearly point to a different conclusion.

I know that my life is relatively easy compared to people in Syria, or people who work multiple hourly jobs with no sick time. I know that I have an abundance of things for which to be grateful. I know that happiness and contentment are more about mental framing and choices than external circumstances. I know all this, and I still allow myself to get upset and stressed about balancing family and career commitments. I guess I'm not doing such a great job at choosing my course right now. Sigh...

Red Sun Rising, and Setting

For the last couple of days we've had sunrises and sunsets that remind me of those events in the Midwest. It didn't feel any more humid lately, so I was wondering what caused it. Then I saw in the news this morning that it's because of the wildfires in the Pacific Northwest and British Columbia. This afternoon I can't see the mountains at all and we're getting alerts that people with respiratory problems shouldn't be outside. So as pretty as the sunrises and sunsets have been, I hope they get those fires under control soon. Of course I was at work as the sun was coming up this morning, so I only had my phone camera to capture this morning's sunrise.

Today marks the end of the first truncated week of school for the kiddos. I think everyone is really going to enjoy family movie night tonight, the trick will be staying awake! I've mentioned before that my daughter got accepted into the advanced academic program at the high school that is in the Northeast corner of our school district, and we live in the Southwest corner. I'm glad that she'll get her driver's license in the spring of her sophomore year, because picking her up from school in the afternoon isn't easy. The high school is 10 miles from our house, and it takes about 25 minutes to get there. Then I have to sit in traffic with a bunch of teenage drivers to get back out, so it takes over an hour to pick her up. My son has been carrying around papers that he's supposed to turn in since Wednesday, so fingers crossed that when he gets home shortly, they won't be in the backpack any longer! I'm sure we'll all settle in soon enough, but this hasn't been the easiest week with both kids starting new schools.

A Chill in the Air

Yesterday morning as I walked from Union Station to my office, I definitely needed my sweater. There was a nice, brisk breeze and I was loving it. I've been reading lots of blog posts lately about people who aren't ready for summer to end, but I for one am ready for the cooler temperatures of fall. We got a really nice rain last night, and I couldn't resist taking a photo of the rain drops on my rose this morning.

I'm also glad my kids started back to school today so we can get into our school-year routine. I've been struggling mightily with the transition that this year brings as my daughter starts high school and my son starts middle school. I'm hopeful that now that we're started we can get into the routine and I'll start to feel better emotionally.

I took the day off so I could spend the morning with my children free from distractions. Their schools start at very different times this year so I ate half of my homemade scone with my daughter, then the other half with my son, so I was able to have breakfast with both of them on the first day. They both have half-days today, so now I get the morning to myself to relax a little.

1st day as a high school Freshman

1st day of 6th grade and middle school

The third 10-day challenge didn't start out so well for me. My weight was moving in entirely the wrong direction again. Part of it has been eating just a little bit more than I should be, and part of it was starting off on the wrong foot on Saturday with an extremely high-calorie dinner that my husband had prepared. So it's time to redouble my efforts and power through the remainder of these 10 days. I did make some positive (well, mathematically negative, but ya know) progress yesterday, so I'm hoping to have some momentum for the rest of the challenge.

Stormy and Sleepy

I'm working at home today, listening to the rain and thunder. It's beautiful and soothing, and is making me want to take a nap. I've been sleeping a bit better overall, but last night was rough again. So a few minutes of shut-eye sounds heavenly on this stormy Monday afternoon.

10-Day Challenge Progress Report #2

This morning I stood on the scale and read 138.9 pounds. I only lost 1.8 pounds this time, instead of the 3 pounds which was my goal. However, I'm actually feeling alright about the progress I'm making mentally. As you can see in the table below, I had a few days where I went over my goal of 1300 calories. If I had done this in the past I would have just thrown up my hands and stopped recording for the day. This time I just kept track and didn't use it as an excuse to just eat everything I could get my hands on.

I'm also happy that even with family in town visiting I was able to keep my eating under control for most of the visit. That's another encouraging development because that would have been license to stop tracking in the past also. So while I didn't hit my goal for challenge number 2, I'm feeling good about some of the choices I've made, and confident that the next 10 days will be more successful.

I added a trendline to the tracking chart, and if I keep making the steady progress that I'm making right now, I will hit my ultimate goal weight by late October. So I'm excited to start the next 10-day challenge and see where I end up!

Sunflowers

I wanted to share a couple of pictures of sunflowers on this stormy late summer afternoon.

Sunflower and a wasp

Sunflower converted to watercolor painting

Still Here

I'm still here; I haven’t fallen off the face of the earth. There's been a great deal of activity at both work and home lately. I haven't had time to take any pictures and I haven't had much to say. At least not much that wouldn't make me sound like a broken record. 

When I took my walk this morning I had to take a different route since the city was watering the path I normally take. Watering with reclaimed water, which is great for the environment, but I'm not walking through that. Firstly, the part of the creek with lots of trees is really dark, and slightly creepy, at 4:30 in the morning when there's no moon. Secondly, walking past the elementary school where I no longer have any kids enrolled makes me sad. I  suppose I'll get used to it eventually since it's in my neighborhood, but right now it's still a forceful reminder that I don't have little kids any longer. 

I took another walk on this somnolent late summer afternoon while my daughter was at piano and got a few photos. 

This spider on the lamp was enormous, I wanted to get a photo with the light bulb to give some perspective on the size of this guy. You can also see the little tiny spider right next to him.

The second 10-day challenge that I've set for myself isn't going as well as the first one. I'm still losing, but not as much since I only maintained for a few days. But that's better than gaining again. I'll write more about that this coming weekend.

Nostalgia

I'm struggling a bit today as this particular summer is drawing to a close. I read a blog post the other day saying that people were jumping the gun here and that August is still summer, but the writer doesn't have children. My daughter had band camp at school this week, in addition to her freshman check-in to get her schedule. We spent last evening at the high school seeing a demonstration of what the kids learned this week. I was never in marching band, but my husband was, and he said they made an impressive amount of progress in one week.

This coming week my son has 6th grade orientation, and then in just a little over a week I'll have a child starting high school, and another starting middle school. There have also been some yellow leaves on our deck. So whether or not the calendar or the natural cycle are in agreement, our summer is almost over. The close of this summer feels like the end of one stage of our lives since we won't have any children in elementary school any longer. I'm feeling nostalgic and struggling a bit with all of this.

I love autumn and the cooler weather, plus this year I've got a new book waiting for me, October Dreams II, which I got for my birthday but have held off on reading until the right time of year. But not even the allure of autumn or the book are making me feel better about this summer ending this morning. I also found out this week that my husband and my daughter won't be home on Halloween this year. They're going to see the Winery Dogs (who I will always call the "Reservoir Dogs" in my mind) in concert on Halloween night. So even that's going to be different.

I'm worried about having less time together as a family once school starts up. My daughter is doing an advanced academic program so she'll have lots of homework, plus part of marching band is playing at the games. So there will be many evenings when we won't get to have dinner together, or even really see her. My husband and I were talking about it this morning and he reminded me that we've almost always sat down to dinner as a family and we've made time to be together all these years. He's right, and I don't regret how we've spent our time as a family (though I still wish I had figured out how to work part-time while my kids were little), it's just thinking about that time drawing to a close that's making me sad.

My cousin is heading home tomorrow, provided that the dealership is able to figure out why his van won't start. I've been holding my own on my second 10-day challenge by not gaining weight. But I also haven't been losing any. I'm hoping that starting tomorrow when we're back to eating regular meals that my husband has prepared that I can start making some progress again instead of sitting flat.

Now, I'm going to try to get out and enjoy one of the final days of our summer. My family is all home and together. We have some chores and probably a little shopping to do, but we should be able to do it together, for a little while longer.

10-Day Challenge Progress Report #1

Whew! Between my cousin and his family still being in town, my daughter doing band camp this week, and an upcoming board meeting at work, I can hardly find time to think right now! Next week things should calm back down to the typical dull roar that is my life.

I've come to the 10th day of my first round of my personal 10-day challenge, and while I had three days where I went over on my calories (because it's hard to refrain when family is in town and everyone else is eating yummy stuff), I never just threw up my hands and stopped counting my calories. Monday was my mom's birthday and my husband made a new dessert, so that's why that day is so high.

My goal for each 10-day period is to lose 3 pounds. I actually lost 3.9 pounds this time, so that's certainly a win!

My next check-in will be on Saturday, August 15th, and my goal weight at that time will be 137.7, as it'll be 3 pounds from wherever I end each time.

I'm also hoping that once my cousin heads home this coming weekend and my evenings won't be spoken for every day, that I'll be able to get back into more regular posting.

Eldorado Canyon

It's been a full and fun week with my cousin and his family in town visiting. We've gone miniature golfing, hiking, oh and I bought a new vehicle which I got to really try out today. We drove up Eldorado Canyon to the state park to go for a hike. I used to hike and rock scramble there quite a bit in my late teen years because it's closer to Denver so the trip didn't use as much gas. But I hadn't been in years. The pot-holed dirt road winds through a little mountain hippie village, so my new Nissan Xterra with 4-wheel drive and a manual transmission was super fun to drive today. I decided that my kids were old enough that it was safe to have a manual transmission again, plus my daughter will get her learner's permit in less than a year, so she'll be able to learn to drive a stick shift.

Anyway, enough about my new toy...er truck. The hike was wonderful, although I think we just about did my cousin in. He told us he's been working with a personal trainer and that he's not fast, but that he can make it the top. I think he might have been alright with the 3-mile hike we had planned. But we decided to add a loop (which everyone agreed to) that was almost an additional mile. I think it was just too much for him and he really struggled with the loose gravel and the downhill on the way back. My daughter needed to be at the library for her volunteer work in the summer reading program so we ended up having to leave them and just come down on our own to get her back in time. Everyone made it down safely in the end, despite the rattle snakes which were active on the trail today.

But the hike was beautiful, and it was still nice to spend time together. We told the kids they could could get Cold Stone Creamery (ice cream) tonight, and I think they're all going to feel like they earned it.

My cousin and his wife

My son and my cousin's step son

My daughter and my cousin's step daughter

My cousin's 4-year old son hitching a ride on my husband's shoulders.

All the kids standing in front of the remains of kitchen fireplace from the Crags Hotel which burned down in 1912. 

A melted kitchen pot from the Crag Hotel.

The snow-covered mountains in the back are where the Continental Divide is located.

I loved the way this spider web looked in the morning sunshine.