I was raised by my parents, who were raised by my grandparents, who grew up during the Great Depression. Waste was one of the WORST offences possible in their homes. They barely had enough to get by growing up, so when they placed food in front of you, you were expected to eat it. ALL of it. I think this was one of the factors that contributed to my dad's issues with his weight. I know I've struggled with feelings of guilt if we have to throw food out. I actually dealt with these feelings when we cleaned out the refrigerator this weekend, and when I was cleaning up after dinner the other night.
It never fails that I wrap up the leftovers and put them in the refrigerator, and then don't feel like eating them or need something more convenient to carry to work. Nearly every weekend when we clean out the refrigerator, I end up throwing food out. But it was really bad the other night when I was cleaning up after dinner. My husband made fajitas on Saturday night for my daughter since she hadn't had any Mexican food while in Europe and was craving it pretty badly. My husband also made a gigantic bowl of homemade salsa because he knows we all love that. The problem was that he wasn't able to get Roma tomatoes at the grocery store, so he'd ended up buying a different variety that wasn't as meaty. So when he roasted them on the grill, they soaked up too much of the smoke flavor and they were bitter tasting. The salsa was fine for the fajitas, but it wasn't something we wanted to eat on our eggs or with chips. So my husband told me to dump the entire bowl down the sink after dinner. If any of you shop at Whole Foods (a.k.a. "Whole Paycheck") you know how expensive their produce is; but it's usually worth it because it's fresher and tastes better. Dumping a bowl filled with Whole Foods' tomatoes and peppers felt wrong. Really wrong.
I also deal with these feelings when I'm eating, and I'll fully admit that there are times when I eat more than I need or even want, simply because it's on my plate. Other times I'm stronger and I remind myself that I should stop eating when I've ingested enough food to fuel my body. Although I do hear my grandmother in my head telling me that it's not right to waste food. Then I remind myself about a conversation I had once with an acquaintance of mine. We were discussing the idea of wasting food, and he said, "I suppose it's still wasting food if you eat it and your body can't use it." This was a game-changer for me. It was a whole new way to think about waste and although it didn't completely assuage my guilt, it did help me to talk myself through my guilt. So while I do still feel twinges of guilt, I often remind myself of this statement and it helps me to pay attention to how much food I actually need.
Ultimately food is just fuel for our bodies. Although I know I use it both socially and emotionally, which is the real reason I struggle with overeating and have a difficult time keeping my weight where I want it to be. Another thing that causes issues for me is that my husband is such a foodie. Cooking is one of his primary forms of creative expression, and his feelings get hurt if we don't enjoy his cooking or eat enough of it. I'm not trying to blame anything on him, this is his choice and it's fine for him since he doesn't really fight his weight (some men are very lucky in that regard). But it is one of the underlying factors that I need to find a way to deal with appropriately if I'm ever going to make real and permanent changes in the way I eat. But I am trying really hard to remind myself that not wasting food means not eating food that my body can't process and will just store as fat. Because there is almost no scenario where I'll have to live off of the stored fat in my body, so having it there is just wasting food!
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