Choosing to Correct My Course

I'm fairly embarrassed to report my weigh-in today; and rather disappointed in myself.  When I stood on the scale this morning I had actually gained weight, so today's weigh-in is 136.6.  Once again I was going down at the beginning of the week and thought I'd be able to report a loss of about 1 1/2 pounds for the week.  But after an extraordinarily difficult day on Friday (parenting is the most rewarding, and most difficult task I've ever undertaken), I made really poor choices on Friday evening and all day Saturday.  I did manage to go for a run/walk on Saturday morning.  I was planning on going for a run but my 9 1/2 year old son wanted to go with me, so we had to do a combo.  But I learned long ago that unless I exercise basically all day, I really can't make up for poor food choices by exercising.

I don't know why I'm having such a difficult time getting my head back in this mode.  Here's a picture of me in the summer of 2011 after I'd lost 35 pounds (I actually needed the belt to hold those pants up, it wasn't just a fashion accessory).

My sister-in-law once told me that she didn't know how I did it, that I was like a machine and refused to make a poor eating choice.  But that's not the experience I'm having now.  I guess the good thing is that I seem to be identifying my triggers and figuring out when I have the most difficulty.  Now I just need to figure out how to deal with them.  The weekends tend to be tough because not only do I have more access to food, but I'm married to a "foodie."  Please don't misunderstand; I'm not in any way implying that this is my husband's fault.  But he's such a good cook and he enjoys food so much, that sometimes I feel like I limit my time with him if I don't eat the same things he's eating.  And I like to spend time with him, so I guess I need to discuss with him how we can hang out with different types of food and/or without food.

I don't make New Year's resolutions per se, but I do try to focus on areas where I want to improve.  At the end of December I had written down in my journal that I wanted to lose weight so my joints would be less achy and my clothes would fit better.  I also wrote down that I wanted to work on being more appreciative and kinder, and to complain less.  I really want to make better choices that lead to me being a better person and having a more positive impact on those around me.  So far I'm not doing as well as I'd like on any of these.  But one of the advantages of not calling these "resolutions" but instead areas where I'd like to focus, is that I don't have to feel like I've failed in early February.  I can just refocus and continue to try harder.  I can make course corrections and keep on journeying.