I've had a rough go of it lately. Work has been extra difficult, and my son has reverted to all of his old behaviors over the last week. I've been falling apart and have felt emotionally broken. But I'm working on it. I'm making an effort to control my responses, and to do positive things, especially for others. I have managed to eat really well for the past three days. I don't know if it's because I'm lacking the energy to do anything else, or if it's because that is one area that I control, and it makes me feel better to eat right. Whatever the reason, I'm embracing this healthy eating, and my scale is moving in the right direction again.
I thought if I just made an effort to be positive I could take care of this malaise myself; but I just don't have the reserves to remain positive all day at work and all evening at home when I feel like I'm being worn down both places. So I will be calling my company's EAP to find a counselor. I don't really want to add anything else to my do list that cuts into my limited time. Although there comes a time when it's time to admit that I need outside expertise because I simply don't have the answers.
Today was actually a bit better, it's a very cold and gloomy day here, and maybe no one else had the energy to cause problems today. It might snow overnight tonight, which makes me very excited. We'll be heading up to the mountains tomorrow evening to go and spread my dad's ashes on Saturday morning. I'm sure the loss of my father this past spring is part of the reason I've been struggling so much lately, so I'm hoping this symbolic act will be another piece in the closure puzzle.
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| Rain on the roses |
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| Red leaves, fall is in the air |
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| Fall chrysanthemums |
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| Fall chrysanthemums |
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| Rain on a fallen leaf |
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