Colorado Spring

Our Mothers Day weekend snow made national headlines, evoking sympathies from the reporter.  I don't mind the snow terribly; it's hard on the trees, shrubs, and the tender plants, but it's moisture which we can always use.  My daughter, on the other hand, was convinced that the snow was falling as a personal insult to her.  Mondays are hard, especially at the end of the school year.  Although she at least has a break during the summer, mom gets to keep working year-round.  By this afternoon it was pretty nice again, and we only lost 2 tree branches.

We bought a Wii several years ago with the whole Fit package.  It was fun when we first got it and we used it quite a bit.  We first used one at my cousin's house and she told me they went through spurts with it; sometimes they'd use it a lot and then they'd go months without touching it.  That's how it's been with us also, partly because if you're in decent shape it doesn't give you a very good workout.  I hadn't used it in over 500 days (it tells you this information when you turn it on), and decided it would be fun this weekend since it wasn't really feasible to go outside.  I'm embarrassed to admit that it was a real workout, especially the boxing.  My arms and back are still a bit stiff.

Although I have been exercising every day, I've clearly not been pushing myself hard enough lately.  I definitely haven't been eating properly.  I think I finally figured out why I haven't been able to get into the proper mindset with exercise lately, and especially with food.  I'm acting like a petulant child throwing a temper tantrum.  I feel like there are so many difficult things going on in my life right now that I shouldn't have to be deny myself the food that I want.  I'm tired of having to be responsible all the time.  I know that this is counter-productive, and that I need to make good choices for myself and my health, but it's the thought process that's happening every time I make a poor food choice.

I'm hopeful that now that I've recognized the problem I'll be able to counter those thoughts when they start to occur.  I'm also still hopeful that the tests the doctor ordered will reveal something.  I do occasionally manage to make good choices for weeks at a time, but when I don't see the results I'm hoping for it's hard to stay motivated.  I know that I have a wonderful life and a great deal for which to be grateful, especially compared to many others.  I was having a conversation once with someone who said there's the relative difficulties in our life, which in comparison aren't that difficult.  Then there are the absolute difficulties which we experience in full and which don't feel any less difficult to us just because they aren't as bad as others' problems.  At any rate, I'm going to be posting a weigh-in this coming Sunday, so I'd better figure out how to deal with my mental train of thoughts or I'll be ashamed of myself come Sunday.