I wanted to provide an update on this post. Things are definitely going better than they were when I wrote that post. One of the big differences is that I just feel so much more supported. It's amazing what happens when you just ask for help. I think there are still some people who believe that it's just a parenting issue, but they're at least being less vocal. Of course some of the problems probably are the result of parenting, they just aren't all due to parenting. These kiddos don't come with an owner's manual and what works with one doesn't necessarily work with the other, so there's a great deal of trial and error associated with figuring this out.
We're seeing a family therapist again and it seems to help even outside of the sessions as everyone is more willing to discuss their feelings so we can talk through things. We found a couple of impulse control activity books and they seem to be helping some. We're also tracking behavior in a "trust bucket" to earn a reward. It's not as if everything is suddenly perfect. We continue to work at this daily and there are still extremely challenging days. But since we've been open about this and accepted more help, we've had more good days. We're seeing more glimpses of the good person that our son truly is. When we aren't so busy dealing with issues we can just enjoy his fun and wacky personality.
Also, we've had some lovely spring days recently in Colorado. But being Colorado, we do have some overlap between winter and spring.
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