Deep Breaths

I really wanted this week to go better, and overall I've done a better job of managing my emotional responses. Work is starting to get slightly less overwhelming as we've gone through most of our firsts since the "co-worker who didn't leave process documentation" quit. Home has still been pretty challenging. My son still isn't doing what he's supposed to do at school, and yesterday he didn't forget to take his medication, he threw it away. This isn't good because a) he needs the medication (clearly); and b) it's really expensive. I'm sitting here holding my head and shaking it.

Our IT department asked me to be a guinea pig because I was told my name came up as "someone who was fairly technologically savvy and had a high tolerance for IT disruption." Thanks...? I now have a thin desktop machine and only remote into the server, I don't work on my machine any longer at all. I think in the long run this setup will work better, but it didn't work so well at home this morning. I got a new laptop yesterday with a 10-key on the side. The screen resolution was awful (and couldn't be adjusted, which I've never run into before) and it wouldn't recognize my other monitor. I know this is a first-world problem, but I really can't work on just one monitor any longer. So I gave up on that and just used my personal laptop. Which worked fine, until our internet went down. So I packed up and headed downtown into the office. I brought my old work laptop back home tonight, our ISP is back up, and everything worked just fine this evening. Which is good, I desperately needed a win.

The one thing that's providing me some comfort right now and helping me not to get too angry is a quote I read in the October Dreams II book (which I finished this week.) It's attributed to Harlan Ellison, but I'm not finding it on the internet. I did find a Carl Sagan quote which conveys the same message in more formal language, but I still like this one in a story by Nicole Cushing.

"The universe is neither benign or malign. It doesn't know you're here, kid."

I know some people, like my mother, would be mortified to know that I'm comforted by that thought. But I think we all need to make our way through this life in the way that works best for us. Knowing that there's no reason to be angry, and no one to be angry at, makes me feel better. So I'm going with it.

Here's to a smooth ending to this week, and a brighter beginning to next week. I sure could use it!

I got to take a walk with my husband tonight and did enjoy this beautiful view.