Cautiously Optimistic

I'm feeling cautiously optimistic right now, because I think breaking my weight-loss down into smaller increment goals is going to work. I feel very motivated to lose the three pounds that I set as my goal for this 10-day window. As another way to keep myself motivated, I'm tracking my weight and calorie consumption daily, and I will be sharing that chart with you all on the tenth day. So I will have to publicly demonstrate to everyone that I'm keeping my commitments to myself.

I was a little worried about starting this personal challenge this week since we have family in town and we're eating dinner differently. But thus far I've been really good about eating very small amounts during the day so I have enough calories left for a reasonable dinner. On Tuesday morning we had an all staff meeting and I sat between two co-workers who were noshing on bagels smeared with cream cheese and cinnamon rolls. It actually felt somewhat empowering to make the decision not to eat anything at the meeting since I'd already had my oatmeal for the morning.

I know I'm not out of the woods yet, but for the first time in a long time I am starting to see that proverbial light at the end of this tunnel.

Eating the Right Amount for the Right Reasons

So I finished watching A Nightmare on Elm Street yesterday, and I have to say that it's much less frightening and much campier than I remember it being. It was still a unique premise and I still enjoyed watching it though.

I'm on day 1 of my 10-day self-challenge, and I'm happy to report that it's going really well. I really (really, really) hope that by breaking this down into smaller increments I can make some real and sustained progress, because I'm just plain uncomfortable at my current weight.

I have been giving a great deal of thought to the reasons that I eat too much, and I've identified several issues that I'm hoping to address now.

Most of the items listed above were in a post I wrote last week and never published, because I was feeling so down about my lack of progress and allowed the post to go in a very negative direction. I think this is a more productive post and I believe that through a concerted effort with more short-term goals that I will finally be able to get my eating under control and lose the excess weight I'm carrying right now.

New Plan

Snapdragons in my front yard.

I've been trying to get my eating under control so that I can lose weight for nearly three years now, and haven't had any success. I believe it was Einstein who said that doing the same thing and expecting a different result is the definition of insanity. So instead of just continuing to do what I've been doing and getting more and more frustrated and angry with myself, I'm going to take a different approach.

I know what my ultimate goal weight is, and I'm still planning to get there. But since right now that means losing about 20 pounds, I need to break this into smaller increments. I know that if I start experiencing some success, it'll motivate me to keep going. I also know that if I think in the shorter-term, it's easier to commit to eating right. So my plan is to start tomorrow and eat clean for 10 days. I know I can manage 10 days, and that the scale will start moving in the right direction again. Then I'll do it again for 10 days, and again after that, etc.

It is going to be a challenging time because my cousin and his family are in town and we'll be having dinner with them nearly every night. But if I make good choices during the day, I should go into dinner with enough calories that I can eat a reasonable meal.

I'll be checking in with my progress on Wednesday, August 5th for my first 10-day cycle. At that time I'm hoping to report that I ate 1300 or fewer calories each day, and that I've lost three pounds. If I stick with this plan, I will still be able to reach my goal weight in time for Halloween and the theatrical release of Crimson Peak (my reward for hitting my goal). But I'm hoping by mentally approaching this differently, it won't feel as overwhelming or daunting. Wish me luck!

This is totally unrelated to the rest of my post, but I'm super excited because Netflix just added the original Nightmare on Elm Street to streaming. The movie reminds me of my childhood and sleepovers in my best friend's basement. It's also a very unique horror movie that is just plain enjoyable to watch. So I've been watching a few minutes at a time on my tablet in between loads of laundry this morning. The other exciting development is that I ordered a large print of a photo I took of Kylemore Abbey when we were in Ireland from Shutterfly. It turned out beautifully and looks so nice on our dining room wall. I've got a couple of smaller, canvas prints on order also and am very excited to see those on my walls!

Hanging on the dining room wall. You can see the corner of the chandelier also.

MIA Checkin

I realize I've been kind of MIA this week. With my husband and son being out of town, I've been spending every free moment hanging out with my daughter so haven't really had time to write. I also don't have much to say right now, well, I don't have much to say out loud anyway. I'm saying plenty in my own head, but it's kind of dark at the moment and not really something that anyone else would want to hear.

I thought that maybe I'd sleep better this week with our king-sized bed all to myself, but no such luck. I have, however, been able to toss and turn with impunity and without regard for anyone else. I'm seeing the doctor this afternoon about sleeping pills. I'll probably restrict myself to no more than once or twice per week, but I'm hoping that occasionally being able to sleep through the night will really start to make a difference in my energy level.

I took today off from work since it's my last day alone with my daughter, and slept in (well, after waking up early and forcing myself to stay in bed longer). So when I got up, the sun was already up and it was already kind of hot outside. Instead of going outside for my morning workout, I used our recently inherited treadmill in our reorganized basement which now contains all of our workout equipment. Our weights, exercise balls, yoga mats, etc. used to be scattered throughout several rooms in the house and we had to gather what we needed prior to starting a workout. This new arrangement is so much easier, and makes the house look nicer also. We got the treadmill after my husband's grandmother took a spill and broke her leg and some ribs. She's recovering beautifully and has already moved into her new senior apartment, but she couldn't use the treadmill any longer so gave it to us.

My eating has been...acceptable this week. Acceptable meaning I'm not gaining any weight. However, I'm still eating too many calories to lose weight. This is why my thoughts have been so dark of late, and why I haven't felt like posting as much. I just can't seem to get this figured out. I just don't have any motivating thoughts worth sharing.

As far as the future, I'm looking forward to seeing my husband and son again this evening. I will probably have a hard time posting next week also because my cousin and his family are coming for a visit. We always have such a nice time visiting when they're here, so maybe the following week I'll be in a better head space and have the time to post more regularly.

Just Me and My Girl

I had a post about my issues with eating and food ready to go yesterday, but I decided it was too negative and not ready for primetime.

My husband and son are in Moab together right now so my daughter and I are spending quality time together. Tonight when I took her to piano lessons I was able to go for a real walk. For the first time in a long time I only had to contend with a few errant raindrops in an otherwise sunny sky.

I grabbed a couple of pretty flower shots while I was out and about.

One of the many busy bees on these flowers.

Weekly Progress Report #23

Weight: 143.5 pounds

Weight Change: +0.2 pounds

I apologize for not getting my post up on time yesterday. My daughter and I went out to breakfast together, went hiking at Moraine Park, and had a picnic lunch. Then we we got home I had a raging headache and had to lie down. Then it was time for dinner, and there was laundry to finish, so I just never found time to fit it in.

All of the pictures in this post are from my cellphone camera. I was debating whether or not I wanted to take my camera and deal with the bulky extra weight on the hike, and then forgot to grab it; so that made my decision for me. The pictures aren't as nice, but they still captured our day together. We were hiking near where we spread my dad's ashes last fall, so it was kind of nice to visit and be reminded of him.

Me and my girl. We unintentionally matched shirts.

On the path in the meadow, with the beautiful Rockies in the background.

A pine tree growing out of a rock.

The fast moving river.

Despite these signs near the river, we still saw people out on the rocks. Apparently someone was going for the Darwin award.

The rocky trail in the Rocky Mountains.

It was such a nice morning with my daughter. It was amazing how easy it was to visit and connect away from all of the normal distractions. She told me she'd give me the same Mother's Day present next year, although we didn't need to wait that long if I didn't want to. I think I wasn't the only one who really enjoyed the day!

Flowers and No News

I realize I haven't posted in a couple of days. It's another case of nothing really going on, so I just don't have anything to write about.

We had a nice, sunny morning so I got outside and did some much needed weeding in the yard. With all of the extra moisture we've been getting, the weeds are flourishing right now. The inevitable afternoon storm is moving in now, which made for excellent lighting to get a few shots of some of my flowers.

I took the shot below the other evening. This is basically what it looks like every evening right now since the clouds and storms show up nearly every afternoon.

Tomorrow morning my daughter is taking me out to breakfast, then we're going to go hiking and have a picnic lunch together. It's my mother's day present, just a bit delayed. My husband is taking my son and one of his friends to see Ant Man at the theater while we're off hiking. My weekly progress report will come a little later in the day than usual with the morning activities. Although I think I'll just be breaking even this week. I didn't do such a great job with the My Fitness Pal app every day. But I have been doing more intense workouts again, so at least I feel healthy, even with the excess weight. I really better get it figured out though, or I won't be able to see Crimson Peak in the theater!