High School Headache

It's another cold, snowy, winter-like day here in Denver.  Yesterday was the warmest day of the week with a high of about 38 degrees.  I actually love this weather, I just wish I could stay home when it was like this.  I was thinking the other day that I wish we had a more Victorian model where we would just stay indoors when the weather was bad.  But then I realized that was only for the wealthy, everyone else had to go work in the weather, so it probably wouldn't help me anyway!

It's been a very busy week.  My daughter will be starting high school next year and we attended a high school information night for the district on Thursday.  Our school district has 5 high schools and they all have specialized programs that kids can apply to.  They also open some of the schools up for choice, or we can just send her to our home high school (which is the only way the district will provide transportation).  Her current teachers want her to go to one specific school, which is where all the upper-middle class parents want their kids to go.  But at the moment she's actually interested in the STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, and Math) program which is conveniently located at our home school.  She's always said those were her least favorite subjects, though she's always been very good at them, winning an award for science student of the year in 6th grade.  In 7th grade she got an award for overall student of the year.  I will admit that since I love those subjects so much, it's making me really happy that she might choose that program.  But I don't want to try to live vicariously through my child, I want her to make the choice that will make her the happiest.

The high school that is on the same campus as her middle school (which isn't our home school, stupid boundaries!) has a very interesting global studies program that prepares kids to be business leaders.  But I knew listening to their spiel that it would not interest my daughter, and I was right.  She has absolutely ruled that program out.  But she still isn't 100% sure as there are other programs like the IB (International Baccalaureate) program that she may be interested in.  It feels almost like choosing a college and a major...for 13-year olds.  Most 18-year olds don't really know what they want to do with the rest of their lives (heck, some 60-year olds still aren't sure!).  This wasn't what high school was like when I went.  But I told her that even if she decided to apply to the bioengineering STEM program, she could still major in English in college if that's what she decided when the time came.  These programs can give students a leg up, but they don't have to define these kids for the rest of their lives.

It's hard to believe that we're at this stage in our lives.  It seems like such a short time ago when we were talking about starting a family.  High school makes me a little nervous, because she'll be so busy with school work and extracurricular activities, that I know we'll see much less of her.  Then it'll only be four short years once high school starts that she'll be moving away to attend college.  For the time being she said she wants to stay in state, so hopefully we'll still get to see her on a regular basis.  I guess this is one part of parenting that no one can really prepare you for; the letting go.  But that is still 4 1/2 years away, so I can make sure to focus on her and enjoy her company for now.

Transition

I really liked this view this afternoon.  It reminded me of transitions:  Fall to winter and afternoon to evening.

We're still stuck in our deep freeze here.  This morning the thermometer showed -7 degrees when I was getting ready to do my workout.

Luckily this morning was weights, tomorrow morning is cardio.  I think I'll be on my elliptical inside!

Deep Freeze Repeat

It's extremely cold again tonight.  We're under a wind chill advisory because the temperature can feel as cold as -25 degrees overnight tonight.

Our evergreen looks very festive though, and it's really helping me to start anticipating the holidays.  You can even see the falling snow flakes reflecting in the flash.

I haven't written much lately because I'm going through a very difficult time, and complaining about it endlessly does no one any good, especially not me.  Though it's hard to write about anything else right now.  So hopefully you're enjoying our snow pictures without having to deal with the frigid temperatures wherever you're at!

Brrr!

It's cold here in Denver.  I just looked at the thermometer and saw 10 degrees (Fahrenheit).  Which is also supposed to be the high tomorrow.

Last night it was cold enough to have our first fire of the season.

Today we're getting a light snow and it feels very wintry.

Ragged

We've had a wonderfully Colorado-like day today.  This morning when I went for a walk it was a comfortable 50 degrees and the stars were shining bright.  Then as the sun rose there was beautiful color on the clouds over the mountains, and the waning moon was peeking out behind the barren trees.  Then this afternoon, the cold arctic air moved down and we finally have our first snow of the season!

That spot on the right-hand side of the last picture that looks like a flaw is a falling snowflake.  As I type this it's starting to come down faster.  It's rather unusual to get our first snow this late in the season, but it's not that strange to have such a drastic temperature drop of over 30 degrees since this morning.

As much as I'm enjoying the weather, I am feeling rather ragged today.  I ended up taking sick time from work so I could rest some today.  Last night was a doozy with my son, and I was emotionally worn out and physically exhausted since I couldn't really sleep.  I need to be at my best to help him through everything, but if I can't even take care of my basic needs like sleep, it doesn't leave much for him.

I'm hoping that when I pick him up today he'll be as excited for the snow as I am and in a good mood since tomorrow is Veteran's Day and the kids don't have school.  Our family needs a better evening and some time to recuperate.

Weekly Progress Report #14

Pretty bad news on the weight front this week.  I went on a business trip to San Francisco and didn't make very good food choices.  Then my kids stayed with their grandparents this weekend (my mom on Friday night and my in-laws on Saturday night) and my husband and I spent the weekend together, much of it eating.  So my weight is actually the highest it's been since 2010, and only 9 pounds lighter than my heaviest non-pregnancy weight ever.

Weight:  140.9 pounds

I actually had to adjust the axis values on my chart in order to show this weight.  Ugh!

I'm still struggling to figure out exactly what was so different in my mind-set back in 2011 when I was like a machine and never ate more than I should and lost 35 pounds in 3 1/2 months.  My work situation is rather stressful now, but it was then too, if in a different way.  I still have my family's support like I did then.  Back then I was originally motivated by a doctor telling my dad he wouldn't feel better if he didn't take care of himself.  Now I've seen my dad die as a result of not taking care of himself, so that should be completely sufficient motivation.

The only thing I can think of that is different, is that while I knew intellectually that getting back down to a healthy weight wouldn't fix every problem in my life; I wonder if deep down I still really thought it would.  Of course it didn't fix every issue, and maybe since now I truly know that on every level, I'm just not feeling like it's important enough.  But I want to feel better, and look better, and the only way to do that is to drop now about 16 pounds.

So I'm not giving up, and I'm going to keep holding myself accountable.  I will fully admit that I didn't want to post this today, or just call my weight 140 again so I didn't have to increase the upper value of the chart axis.  But that wouldn't have been honest, and I can't make real progress without being honest.

So, this week begins yet ANOTHER course correction, in hopes that I can make some real, sustained progress towards my goal weight of 125 pounds.

In the meantime, it's another beautiful autumn day here in Denver.  We're supposed to get really cold this week and maybe finally get some snow!

Most of the trees are bare now.

Some of the last fall color.

The only snow I've seen yet this season is up in the mountains!

Home Again

I'm back from San Francisco.  I couldn't believe how wonderful the weather was while we were there.  I wish I could have gotten out more during the day, but that wasn't to be.  During the hours of sunlight I was in the Moscone Center with no windows.  But thanks to the extremely mild and comfortable weather we were able to get out and walk around in the evenings.  Which is good, because even trying to watch my portions and walking on the hilly SF streets, I still managed to put weight back on this week away from home.

I came home to very warm weather also.  It's already November 7th and it still hasn't snowed yet which is very unusual.  We've still got flowers blooming amidst the fallen leaves.

The colorful part of autumn is waning now, with most of the trees either bare or hanging with dry, brown leaves.  Our maple tree still looks pretty good though as it was one of the last trees to turn.

There's always a part of me that mourns a little at this time of year, when everything starts to turn brown.  It's the end of another cycle and causes me to want to pause and take stock.  Then the snow starts to fly and everything is covered in its winter whites which is simply beautiful.  One of the things that I truly appreciate about photography is how aware it causes me to be of the cycle of nature.