Nostalgia and Yearning

Today my daughter asked if she could take some of our cooking utensils with her to college (5 years from now).  I told her of course she could, that we'd send her off with everything she needed, plus lots of tears.  She informed me that I'm very sentimental and nostalgic about childhood.  I wanted to tell her that I didn't understand how my mother felt either when I was her age, and to just wait until she became a mother herself.  But I refrained and simply agreed that I do indeed have those emotions about her childhood.   When you're a child time seems interminable.  Then you become an adult and at some point you realize that there's no special exclusion for you; that you are indeed mortal also.  When that realization occurs (usually somewhat subconsciously), that's when it seems like time speeds up and moves incredibly fast.  You understand that there is a limited amount of time in which to accomplish whatever it is you desire to do with your life.

I am struggling a bit right now with all of this as we've started getting back to school information and are planning on buying school supplies today.  My daughter will be starting her last year of middle school, and my son will be starting his last year of elementary school.  This fall we have to start looking into the high schools and which programs are offered where, and which schools allow students to choice in.  I distinctly remember sitting in the library at the elementary school for my daughter's kindergarten orientation and thinking I can't believe I already have a child starting elementary school.  I couldn't believe how quickly her infant and toddler years flew by.  Now I'm only 1 short year away from having a child in high school!

We just returned from a family vacation in which we included a stop in Santa Fe.  Here's a picture of my daughter the last time we visited Santa Fe, compared to this trip.

2002

2014
This picture is actually in the Black Canyon of the Gunnison as I didn't get any great pictures of her in Santa Fe

Here's a picture of my son's hotel bed on this trip.  I know it won't be much longer before he's done with toys and I won't have any really little ones any longer.

 

I'm fully aware that life doesn't end when one's children grow up.  I know that I'll have time to focus on myself and my relationship with my husband that's currently hard to come by.  But there's also just something so special about raising a child.  It makes me feel very useful and needed.  My favorite sound is my children's laughter.  I love it when they're being silly and get the giggles, that is music to my ears.  I'll miss that sound when they grow up and move out.  I'll even miss the constant calls of "Mom" whenever I try to do anything away from them.

Well, that's probably enough wallowing in sentimentality for one day!  Time to get back to enjoying the current moment with these precious kiddos, before I have to return to work tomorrow for the official end of my vacation.