Spring Afternoon Photos

We've been getting some much needed rain here lately, but this afternoon the sun is out and the sky is bright blue. It's starting to look like spring around here, so I headed out with my camera on f/5.6 this afternoon to grab a few photos. Enjoy!

Crabapple tree on the creek behind our house.

The lilacs are just about ready to bloom. They should be gorgeous in a couple of weeks.

Chokecherry tree with a busy little bee flitting around.

Kinda Over It

I apologize for not posting again for so long. I am having a really hard time right now, and don't want to dump on the blog that's supposed to be about choosing how I react to things. My son has had some really good moments over the last few weeks, and he's had some really bad moments. I'm just...exhausted. I'm tired of never knowing what I'm going to have to deal with from moment to moment. I think most working mothers know that feeling in the pit of your stomach when you see the school's phone number on your caller ID. I still get that feeling, but I've also reached a point where I just expect to see it and I've become somewhat calloused. I expected parenting to be challenging, but I guess I never expected so much uncertainty. At least my daughter just always does what she needs to do, so I don't have to deal with these issues on two fronts.

I'm also seriously over the snow here. I saw a news article that stated the average last snow in Colorado is on April 26th, although it's been in early May for the past several years. I like snow, and I don't like really hot weather. But all the poor flowers are a mess right now. I wouldn't even care if it was overcast and rainy, the relentless spring snow is just adding to my mood problems right now.

I was so excited earlier this week when the lilacs were really starting to look pretty. These pictures are from last Wednesday (our last nice day).

These pictures are from this morning.

I think for awhile I kept hoping that we'd have some breakthrough with my son, and that things would start to steadily get better. But I no longer think that's how all of this is going to play out. I think with time and maturity he'll improve. But I think it's going to be very gradual and non-linear. I need to get my head around the new "normal" and stop thinking this is just an interlude in my life. On a positive note, this past Thursday was Bring Our Daughters and Sons to Work Day. My son did wonderfully the entire day, especially considering how many meetings I ended up having that day. So now I wonder if everyone at work thinks I'm making all of this up!

Here are a few more recent photos you might enjoy. If I can ever figure out how to choose a healthier reaction to my son's issues I'll try to start posting more regularly again.

Our tree with the sunny sky.

Our tree as the storm was moving in.

Back on the Treadmill

I am literally back on the treadmill in the mornings since we got about 14 inches of snow this weekend. Friday afternoon it started to get overcast and rainy.

Overnight on Friday it started to snow, and it kept up until early Sunday afternoon. We were very lucky and didn't lose any branches, but as I was driving to work this morning I saw that lots of others weren't so lucky.

Gotta love springtime in Colorado!

Sights, Sounds, and Smells of Spring

It has been beautiful here this week, and it is definitely starting to look like spring. I've loved seeing all the sights, listening to the birds and insects, and smelling the trees in bloom. Every morning when I walk it just smells so good outside. I'm just worried that some of the tender blooms might get killed this weekend, since this is our current forecast:

Yep, we're supposed to either get lots of rain, or a blizzard. For the moment, the forecast is leaning towards "winter storm." I wish we'd gotten all of this snow this past winter, instead of it being so darn dry all winter, and then dumping snow on us this spring.

I saw lots of beautiful blooms when I was walking yesterday afternoon, and I definitely don't want to see these ruined this weekend. Especially since it happened last year and the fruit tree yields were dismal last season, so we're hoping for better yields this season.

I apologize if any of these are out focus, there was a rather brisk wind and it was hard to focus since the branches kept moving.

I realize these are "weeds", but they're still pretty.

The lilacs haven't bloomed quite yet, but they're almost here!

We're still going through lots of ups and downs with my son. I had thought things were stabilizing, but then yesterday was pretty awful again. This is not what I thought parenting would be like. I thought I knew how to handle kids and while we'd have our frustrations, it wouldn't be more than we could handle. But it may actually be more than we can handle. Realistically we may reach a point where we have to send our son to get help from someone better equipped to handle his issues than we are. I never imagined that I've ever have to consider that. This has been a humbling experience, and I'm much less judgmental of other parents than I used to be. I wasn't overly judgmental before, but it existed as some level. Now I know that the vast majority of people are doing the best they can and I just want to support everyone who is struggling because I truly understand how difficult it can be.

Springtime in My Yard

It's finally starting to look like spring here in Denver. The temperature rose to 75 degrees Fahrenheit today and I had to change into cooler clothes when I got home from work. My family is on spring break this week, so I don't have to worry about anyone but myself in the morning all week. It's not as good as having the week off also, but it's still a little break for me.

My yard is starting to bloom and it's a real pleasure to be outside again.

Our first daffodil.

Pretty, delicate bluish-purple flowers.

Several tulips are about ready to bloom, but this one beat the others to it.

Choke cherry blossoms.

Leafing out.

A busy bee in the cherry tree.

 I'm hoping that things will start to get better in my home with the change of the seasons. But if not, at least I'll be able to spend more time outside so I'll at least feel better.

Choosing My Quote #3

This quote was on the tag of my Celestial Seasonings tea bag and I found it very fitting for the struggle I've had with my food choices for the past year or so. Plus I realized I haven't done a choice quote in a long time.

I know what I need to do, I'm just having a hard time executing these days.

I did get a few interesting photos today.

A line of tall, beautiful lilac bushes.

A lilac photo that Google so graciously auto-awesomed for me, and I like the way it turned out.

I took a picture of some flowers this morning on my walk. I ran it through the watercolor filter in the Topaz plug-in for Lightroom. I do enjoy playing with these filters.

Daunted

One of my favorite songs is Undaunted by Adrenaline Mob. I feel strong when I listen to it. But lately I haven't been feeling undaunted, I've been feeling pretty darn daunted.

Work has been very stressful lately. I've spent a great deal of time frustrated with one of my co-workers, and with my boss for not managing the situation. Home has been really busy lately and my husband has been gone several evenings so I've been managing it on my own. For some reason I'm feeling very emotional lately about how quickly my kids are growing up. I haven't been sleeping well as usual and I'm worn out. With all of this going on, and having eaten out with my in-laws lately, I've derailed myself on my food choices again. I've put weight back on the past few days by stress eating and making poor choices.

I was almost to the point of throwing in the towel and giving up. But I don't think I've really reached that point. I just need to stop what I'm doing and make different choices again. I may not make good progress this week, but I'm not going to do a full reversal again either. So maybe I am feeling a bit more undaunted than I realized.

We've also been having beautiful and varied spring weather here. Sunday and Monday were soggy and foggy.

The sun was shining again today and the temperature was perfect for a walk this evening, which was just what I needed to reset my attitude.

Weekly Progress Report #17

I love the weekend. It's a beautiful, rainy spring morning here. I slept fairly well last night with the slight pitter-patter sound of the rain on the roof. I slept until 6:00 this morning and woke without the alarm. I did a longer weight session in natural light. I suppose I wouldn't appreciate these mornings quite as much if I had them all the time, so I guess I should be grateful for 4:15 weekday mornings.

Here are a few pictures from my rainy, overcast yard this morning.

Yesterday afternoon my daughter and I went for a long walk and the sky was just beautiful over the mountains .

I also did a workout yesterday morning, and finished it with some of the yoga poses on the Wii Fit. The cartoon yoga instructor told me that she noticed my right side wasn't as flexible as my left side. I had noticed that also. I'm starting to wonder if I need to work with a real yoga instructor to do something about my inflexibility. But I don't really have time for that right now, so I guess I'll just keep trying to get better on my own.

Weight: 138.5 pounds

Weight Change:  -0.3 pounds

I had a decent, though not great week with food choices. But at this point, I'm feeling pretty content to just take this slowly, because it is finally going in the right direction. Last night my in-laws took us out to dinner at La Loma, the best Mexican restaurant in Denver. It was a very belated birthday dinner for me since we had a terrible snow storm the first time we tried to go near my birthday. I was careful with my calories for the day, and decided I was going to indulge a little last night. So the weight isn't dropping as fast as it did the first time I did this.

I've been exercising harder lately, so I'm feeling stronger and healthier. My clothes are also fitting better. I'm still going to keep working because I know I'll be more comfortable and my joints will be less achy if I get back down to 125 pounds. But I guess I'm not going to worry about the fact that I'm not getting there as quickly as I'd originally planned. It's probably healthier to lose weight at a slower pace anyway.