Random Check-In

It's been awhile again since I've had the gumption to post here. I have a little more time than usual today because I'm sitting at home with a horrible cold. My son had it at the end of last week, and he's just not very good about containing his germs. I've been doing so well about hitting my goal of 60 minutes of exercise every day for months now, but since doing some gentle dance moves for about three minutes left me worn out, I'm thinking I might have to break my streak today. 😦However, I would like to kiss the person who invented cold medicine; after I'm no longer contagious of course. That medicine is currently making the difference between feeling bad and feeling awful.

In better news, I only have about four more pounds to go to reach the lower-end of my goal weight range.. Our weight-loss contest at work is over, so now I'm on my own. But I'm glad; while that team competition was just what I needed to get started, I'm ready to do this on my own terms now. The competition cost $70 to participate in, with a $10,000 prize for the 1st place team. We ended up being 19th out of 251 teams, so not too shabby. Although I wasn't ever going for the prize; none of the people on my team started off big enough to make that realistic. I was going for losing 10% of my body weight and keeping it off for 6 months which means that the entry fee is returned. I lost over 13% during the competition, and I intend to keep it plus a little more off indefinitely, so I should end up with a net $0 investment.

I charted my weight-loss and calculated the regression line, and determined that I should reach my goal weight of 122 pounds by May 13th if I keep on the same trajectory. But weight-loss isn't necessarily linear, so at this point I'm just hoping for about two or three more weeks, or mid-May to go on to maintenance mode.

Now for a rant because I'm mad at Netflix. (Like the title indicated, this is a random check-in.) I love horror books and movies. Horror books are generally pretty good, and it's fairly easy to spot the pulp. But horror movies can be a real crap-shoot as to whether or not they're even watchable. The best horror movies are fairly intellectual like The Exorcist, The Omen, The Conjuring, The Others, or the first 7/8ths of Insidious (the ending of that movie would have been better if they continued to leave the monsters in the dark and allowed the viewer's imagination to do the work). There are campy horror movies that are also enjoyable because they acknowledge and embrace their campy nature, movies like the original Nightmare on Elm Street, Tucker and Dale vs Evil, Housebound, or the Blade trilogy (although I could argue that the eye-candy might be part of the appeal here.)

When Netflix still used the star rating system, I could better gauge how bad a horror movie was going to be. If they had much below 3 stars, I'd just pass. But Netflix changed to a thumbs-up/thumbs-down rating, and it's harder to tell now if a horror movie is going to be really awful. So I started watching American Poltergeist and couldn't even finish it. The acting was wooden. The script was minimal and the story-telling practically non-existent. The characters made these tremendous leaps of logic with very little information, almost like an episode of Scooby Doo, but not as good. I also noticed that Netflix has American Poltergeist II. Who finances these things?! I guess from now on when I feel like watching a horror movie on Netflix, I'll have to go look it up on IMDB before I can watch. I know, this is the classic definition of a "first-world problem." But it's an annoyance nonetheless.

We've been having a beautiful spring here. It got really warm for a time, but lately it's been cooler again with regular rain. My husband trimmed our lilac bushes back last year, and they're blooming better than they have in a few years.

I hope wherever you are you're enjoying beautiful spring weather and the blooming of the trees and plants.

Spring Afternoon Photos

We've been getting some much needed rain here lately, but this afternoon the sun is out and the sky is bright blue. It's starting to look like spring around here, so I headed out with my camera on f/5.6 this afternoon to grab a few photos. Enjoy!

Crabapple tree on the creek behind our house.

The lilacs are just about ready to bloom. They should be gorgeous in a couple of weeks.

Chokecherry tree with a busy little bee flitting around.

Winter Fading Into Spring

Wow, it's been quite awhile since I posted here. Life has been getting in the way lately.

We just got back from our annual weekend in Estes Park. We weren't able to get up the mountain until later this winter, so the snowshoeing wasn't great. In preparation for next year, we went ahead and reserved a weekend earlier in the winter. We had a few other occurrences that also impacted our snowshoeing experience. I told my husband that he and the kids should get yaktrax like I had in case there wasn't enough snow for the snowshoes. So everyone else had their yaxtrax; and I couldn't find mine anywhere. I'm tempted to buy a new pair, but know that mine will turn up as soon I get the new pair. My brother and his wife forgot their snow boots. So I used snowshoes this weekend, and my brother and his wife wore yaxtrax over tennis shoes. But we still had a good time!

My husband and me at the top of a steep climb with an amazing view.

In Estes Park itself there was almost no snow. We went for a short hike yesterday afternoon, and my poor son come back covered in ticks. There were like 10 ticks on the boy. We think he must have brushed up again some sort of foliage where they had a nest or something.

The sunny side of the mountain with no snow.

The moon going down behind the mountain this morning.

We got home today and it is 82 degrees. We all had to change into shorts, and it's not even officially spring yet. While I know that some people like this weather, I feel cheated out of winter this year, and I think we're going to have a rough fire season this year. We had to drive home past a bad fire in Boulder Canyon this morning.

These flower photos are all from my yard over the past week. Whether the calendar is ready or not, spring is arriving.

My daughter is turning 16 years old tomorrow. She's so excited to get her license. It's different than it was when I turned 16 though. The kids have to drive with a permit for a full year now, so she has to wait until this coming weekend to take her driving test. But it's going to be a spring break of freedom for her the following week!

We finally seem to have a handle on my son's medication and behavior needs, both at home and at school, and I'm thrilled to report that things have been so much better lately. We still have our challenges (he's an almost 13-year old boy after all), but he's been so much more successful and happier which makes all of us happier. He's been voluntarily doing homework again, and we've been getting through chores without an all-out war each week.

I'm also doing really well with my weight-loss. I'm down 15 pounds since January, and only have 8 more to go to get back to my goal weight. Doing a team weight-loss competition was what I needed to get going. At this point my success is motivating enough, but at the beginning when I wanted to eat a milkshake because I was stressed out, knowing that others were counting on me stopped me from making such a poor choice.

So overall things are looking up. Life still throws us curve balls when we least expect it, just like everyone else. But we're navigating and figuring things out. I'm not going promise more posts because I don't want to make a liar of myself; but I will try to be more consistent.

Winter Update

We haven't had much snow lately, which makes me a little sad. I know everyone around me is eagerly anticipating the arrival of spring, but I like winter. Even without the snow I've been able to get a few good winter photos lately.

I've been enjoying watching the colorful sunsets from my back deck.

These pictures are from a little walk around my neighborhood. As you can see, everything that isn't an evergreen is bare, but still beautiful in its own way.

There's also this awesome, old work truck parked in our neighborhood. Yesterday when I was working from home I happened to look out the widow right as it was driving by, so I know it's operational.

I'm also really happy to share that the team weight-loss challenge is working for me. I've had a few times when I was feeling really stressed out lately when I wanted to just down junk food. But since I know other people are counting me, I was able to refrain. It won't keep going this fast, but I lost 7.7 pounds this week.

I hope everyone is finding some beauty in the winter weather right now. Goodness knows, we all need it these days given how much vitriol and hatred is flying and how divided everyone is. Nature continues to be my solace, and I intend to spend as much time communing with plants and animals as is humanly possible, so I don't totally lose my mind.

Old, Fat, and Ugly

Winter night

My dad used to have two responses when people asked the perfunctory, "how are you" question. They of course were expecting a simple "fine" in response, but that's not what they got. If it was a stranger he generally responded, "almost perfect." If it was a family member, he nearly always answered, "old, fat, and ugly." I remember one time shortly before his death he answered me that way; then when he asked me how I was doing, I told him, "I'm getting there too." He protested that it wasn't true, and I think it may have been the first time he'd wished he didn't answer in such a snarky way.

Lately, I have really been feeling like the later answer would be an appropriate response for me also. I've regained all of the weight I managed to lose six years ago. I've been diagnosed with lichen planopilaris and am balding. I also found out that hair loss due to this issue is generally permanent because the hair follicles are scarred over. I've been dealing with so much stress for so long now due to my son's issues, that I look old and tired. So I am truly feeling old, fat, and ugly these days. I won't even update any of my photos on social media because I'm so upset with every current photo of me.

But...we're hoping to start a new treatment plan for my son today based on new information we got recently from a neuropsychological evaluation. The dermatologist told me that there's a chance that my hair will grow back, and we should definitely be able to halt the hair loss. I signed up to participate with four of my co-workers on a weight-loss team challenge. So I'm hopeful that I'll be able to turn some of this around and have better news to report in the future. Then maybe I'll be able to make complete strangers uncomfortable by responding, "almost perfect." Or maybe I'll just stick with the accepted social norms and just feel better internally!

Winter and Some Answers

We got a wonderful snow yesterday, and the kids had another snow day. We only got about 8 inches which wouldn't normally close the schools, but since it was so cold it was dangerous for the kiddos to wait for buses which would have undoubtedly been late. I just love the white blanket of snow this time of year.

These pictures were from a walk the other day before our recent snow.

 This is a picture of the winter sunset the other evening. The trees are without their mantle of snow in this one also.

We're getting some answers to some of the issues that we've been facing lately. Nothing is fixed yet, but at least we finally have some idea about how we might be able to move forward. I saw a dermatologist this week (I had no idea that one saw a dermatologist for hair issues, though it does make sense). She diagnosed me with alopecia which is why I'm losing my hair. She did a biopsy of my hair follicles to determine what type so we can treat it properly. I know it's pretty vain to be so worried about hair loss, but I've been pretty unhappy with losing my eyebrows and a receding hairline. I just look...weird. I suppose I'll also look weird when small hairs start growing back, but since that will mean recovery, I'll deal.

We also got a full neuro-psych eval on our son, and we now have additional issues identified which helps the professionals to determine more appropriate treatment options. Hopefully it will help the school to understand how to help him in that environment also. I'm really hoping that we're able to deal with the brain chemistry issues so that we can address behaviors. I've been pretty hopeless and desperate about our family life over the past several months, so it's such a relief to feel like we have a chance of addressing the issues and having different experiences.

I hope that the first week of the new year has been a good one for all my readers!

Happy New Year

I had another post written that I was going to publish today, explaining the reason why it's been so long since I've posted again. But I decided it was just too desperate and too personal.

So instead I'll just say, "happy new year" to all of my readers. Here's hoping that your 2017 will be a good one with lots of opportunities for doing what fulfills you and being the best version of yourself.

For the first time in a long time, I have some small glimmer of hope that things will be better for my family this year. Perhaps soon I'll have some positive news to report and feel more like writing and sharing again.