We haven't seen the sun since last weekend, and then it was only briefly. A friend who moved to Washington state recently posted on Facebook that she couldn't believe how sunny and warm it's been in the Pacific Northwest. Apparently we've switched weather patterns with them. It was warmer in Galway, Ireland (where we're headed in about one week!) than in Denver yesterday. It's been a little depressing to be under cloud cover for this long, but I suppose it's really good for us because everything is really green, and maybe the fire season won't be as bad this year.
Update: After I finished writing this post, the sun briefly made an appearance today!
I've been thinking lately about how we each individually define success for ourselves. I recently saw an article about the commencement speech given by Stephen Colbert at Wake Forest University. It reminded me of a comic that I saw once based on life advice from Bill Watterson (the creator of the Calvin and Hobbes comic). This morning I was listening to music on my walk (in the pouring rain) and a song that I've really been enjoying came on. It was Love The Way You Hate Me by Like a Storm. It takes a slightly less positive approach to the topic, but is basically saying the same thing as the above speech and comic: We all have to figure out for ourselves what we want to achieve and how we want to achieve it.
Based on the choices I've made over the years, I think I've always had a defined version of success for myself. But I don't think I've ever really embraced that definition before, and therefore always felt slightly guilty about my choices, even though I knew they were right for me. Lately I've been feeling less guilt because I've realized that I am making the right choices for me and my family to reach the end-state that is important to me. When I leave this world (hopefully a long time from now), I want to be remembered as a good wife, mother, daughter, sister, and friend. I want my family and the other people who I've chosen to spend my time with to feel like they were valued and appreciated by me. I also hope that at least in a small way, I'll have been kind and giving to strangers and people who have been less fortunate than me.
Professionally I hope that people have tools and reports that are useful to them and help them to do their jobs. I've never been interested in climbing the corporate ladder. I like being a high-level individual contributor. That role is where I have the ability to make the largest impact while still having plenty of time for my family. This has caused friction at times in the past because it doesn't match other's definition of "success" which is to take on larger roles and start supervising others. When I communicate that I don't want to move into that type of role, I sometimes get classified as a "low potential" employee, which is true from a succession planning standpoint, but ignores the tremendous contribution I can make in my role.
Owning my definition and realizing that my choices will help me get there has really helped my attitude of late. I feel calmer and more centered because I'm not constantly second-guessing myself every time I make a choice. I suppose this is one of those advantages to growing older and getting more comfortable in one's own skin.
What about you? Do you believe that you've defined, and are making choices, based on your own personal definition of success? Do you struggle with feeling judged by others for doing so? Do you feel like you've let others define what success should look like for you?
