Quiet Time in Nature

It's been a while since I have been able to check in again. Halloween was kind of a non-event for us this year, which made me kind of sad. My husband and I talked about how we're going to be very intentional for the rest of the upcoming holidays so we don't feel like we've missed out.

My son and I traveled to rural Illinois last weekend to celebrate my grandma's 90th birthday. We didn't tell her we were coming  so we got to surprise her. She's not a terribly demonstrative person, but I know she was pleased that we were there. It was great to see my family, and spend a couple of days on the farm. Being outside in the morning and hearing nothing but birds and wind soothes and calms me like nothing else.

My grandma's farm at sunrise from my aunt's farm.

My husband and I had our annual get-away weekend in Manitou Springs this year. There's a great little B&B down there run by an artist who hand-painted each room in a unique style. We hiked the St. Mary's Falls trail in Cheyenne Canyon. Because we tend to head out early, we didn't see too many other people on the trail until we almost back down to the bottom. It was a wonderful hike in perfect weather, if a bit dusty due our dry autumn.

The falls were beautiful with some of the water frozen while some of it still flowed. The sky was a perfect, beautiful shade of blue. This weekend was just what the doctor ordered after another challenging week personally and for our country!

Check-In and Photos

I haven't posted in awhile again because things have been really rough for us. I keep reminding myself that there are people out there with children who will never become independent. There are people with children who are deathly ill. There are people who are fleeing their home for their safety with the knowledge that they or their children may not survive the journey. I try to keep things in perspective and remind myself that the challenges we've been dealing with lately with our son aren't that difficult. But it's hard to keep the proper perspective when one is struggling so much.

We did finally have a productive meeting with the school because the principal stepped in and took over the situation. The assistant principal wasn't doing a very good job of managing the issues and communication between home and school, so I'm very grateful that we have some real help from the school now. It certainly hasn't solved every problem, but it has at least lessened the stress of feeling like we were essentially battling the school and teachers. Now if we could just figure out how to get some relief at home, then we'd really be in better shape.

I have to admit that emotionally I'm pretty raw these days. I love my son fiercely, but I'm having a hard time enjoying his company, which leads to terrible guilt. This parenting thing is tough stuff!

One good thing is that I'm still really enjoying the job I started in November. Now that my employee has returned from maternity leave I'm also feeling some level of satisfaction that I'm getting some planned things accomplished also. So although I leave home many mornings feeling pretty low, being at work helps me to feel better most of the time. I'm also trying to spend as much time as possible outside because I know myself well enough at this point to know what a balm nature is for me. The other day my mom told me I needed a spa day and I responded with, "I'd rather go for a hike."

We had a nice snow last night that covered the ground and trees beautifully, and left the roads slightly damp. That's really the best kind. I grabbed this quick photo as the sun was coming up.

This morning we also had a lovely moon over the mountains. I'm happy to report that I finally figured out why I hadn't been able to get a good shot of the moon previously; I wasn't setting the shutter speed fast enough. Now the next challenge will be to take two different exposures and then combine them with a masking layer in Photoshop so that I can show the moon and the rest of the sky/trees.

These two pictures are from my phone camera and they're not great since I took them from the parking lot when I got to work this morning. However, they do show the moon going down over the mountains and the wind and snow on the high peaks. I was wishing that I was headed up there for the day instead of in to the office, even though I enjoy it I'd still rather be hiking.

One other piece of good news is that I'm back on track for losing weight. I don't know if it will last and I'll have any real success, based on everything that's happened over the last few years. But I'm feeling motivated right now and am really going to work to keep it up so I can feel healthier and more comfortable. I really started to want to lose weight again the last time I had to trim my toenails and it was uncomfortable. Please send your good thoughts my way that I'll be able to keep that up!

Autumn Afternoon Walk

After not getting a post up in a week, this is my second post today. I just had to share the pictures of my walk along the creek this overcast fall afternoon in all its autumnal glory.

Water bug

Underwater leaves

I ran into my son coming home from a bike ride.

Rabbit in my neighbor's yard.

Early Morning Walks

Picture of Venus this morning. Please excuse the quality, it was taken with my phone camera and no tripod. You can sort of see the tree in the right foreground.

While I do not, and don't believe I ever will, enjoy getting up at 4:15 in the morning, I do like walking at that time of the morning. It is always so quiet and somnolent, well at least from a human perspective. Much of the local wildlife is more active at that time. I get to see rabbits frolicking every morning. I've seen raccoons, foxes, coyotes, and even skunks (though I could probably do without those last animals). I've watched owls flying silently past me. I've heard lots of other critters scurrying in the underbrush. The other morning I heard a pack of coyotes yipping in the distance. The sound of the crickets is practically the soundtrack for that time of the morning.

I nearly always hear the train whistle blowing in the distance. I often hear the wind in the leaves, and feel the gentle breeze as I walk. The sky has been clear pretty much every morning recently, so I've had amazing views of the stars and constellations. Venus has been exceptionally bright lately, and this morning was at the apex of its brightness.

While there's a big part of me that would rather be asleep in bed, the silver lining in this particular cloud is getting to be outdoors enjoying nature in near solitude. There are a few houses in the neighborhood with lights on, but the vast majority are still dark when I walk. It's one of the only times I can truly feel alone outdoors in my suburban neighborhood. I occasionally see another walker or jogger, and they usually have a headlamp on. While I get the safety concerns (the creek that runs behind our house is dark, especially when the trees are leafed out and there's no moon), I don't want to interrupt nature and destroy my night vision so I avoid them as much as possible on the rare occasion when I see someone else.

So while I end up operating on less sleep than I would prefer, I am grateful for my early morning walks. When I get a chance to sleep in, I'm much more likely to get on my treadmill rather than go outside because it's just not as magical to walk when everyone else is out and about too.

Solitude Solution

Thistles against our gray, rainy sky.

Today has been a very difficult day. I've managed not to use food to deal with the problems though, so that's a win. Instead of eating, I went for a walk and listened to Van Morrison's Moondance album. What I really wanted to do was sit behind my grandmother's barn like I used to when I was young and things were upsetting me. It was in the middle of nowhere and I didn't see other people at all. There is nothing that rejuvenates me like being alone in nature. Unfortunately there were other people on the path along the creek tonight. But getting outside even for a little while really did help. Then eating dinner with my family finished making everything all better.