Destination Unknown

Does anyone else have Ruby Soho by Rancid stuck in their head after reading that title?

I'm feeling pretty adrift these days, and uncertain as to where I'm going or how I'm going to get there. I feel a little bit like Alice only there's no Cheshire Cat to point my way. I know where I want to go, I want to be able to parent my son and raise him to be a good, productive, happy person. But I really don't know how to get there.

“Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?'

'That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,' said the Cat.

'I don't much care where -' said Alice.

'Then it doesn't matter which way you go,' said the Cat.

'- so long as I get SOMEWHERE,' Alice added as an explanation.

'Oh, you're sure to do that,' said the Cat, 'if you only walk long enough.”

I used to be the mother who couldn't fathom how other mothers could send their children to daycare when they had a day off from work. If I ever had any extra time you could bet I was spending it with my children. They were my joy, my light, and I had to spend too much time away from them as it was. Now I've reached a point where I'm grateful for any time I can get a break. Thursday night my mom offered to take my son to gymnastics and out to dinner. I can't tell you how happy I was to have an evening with just my husband and daughter. Everything was incredibly relaxed and easy.

I did manage a few walks this week, and there has been some beautiful scenery around here. Something for which I'm very grateful these days.

Clouds at sunset on Wednesday evening.

Sun on the grass on Thursday evening.

Reflection in the stagnant water on Thursday evening.

Fog and trees on Saturday morning.

Fog where we normally have a view of mountains on Saturday morning.

I'm hoping to find some way to turn on corner soon and start to feel better. Then I'll feel more like writing when I might have something positive to say.