I had drafted a post
shortly after my last entry and was all ready to go, but I was in such a foul
mood when I wrote it that I’m glad I never found the time to post it.
Life got in the way of posting my writing. Or more specifically, I
was trying to balance work, house, kids, husband, and an online class in
regression analysis. I was feeling like the line in a song by Enchant,
“and now my choice is juggling nine or dropping ten.” Let’s just say that
I felt like I was dropping everything. I did have a few minutes of
downtime here and there, but I thought if I attempted to write it would just be
incoherent gibberish, and I didn’t want to burden my readers with that!
However, I also recognize that I make choices about how to spend my downtime and I haven’t been very dedicated to writing (online) lately. I
generally still find time to journal as that is how I mentally process.
Even when I’m incredibly
busy I also find time to read since I ride the bus to and from work most days.
I recently read Maxed
Out: American Moms on the Brink by Katrina Alcorn because the topic obviously resonated with me.
I thought it was a brave memoir of one mother’s struggle to balance work
and family, although I probably wouldn’t have read it if that was all it was.
After all, I have enough first-hand experience with this, as do all of my
working mother friends. But it brought up some of the systemic issues
which contribute to the problem, not the least of which is mothers being
jealous of and unkind to each other. So when I saw this blog
post by Molly Stillman
called “Dear Moms, You’re Doing a Great Job”, it practically made me cry
because it was so sweet, positive, and supportive. After I read it I
actually felt much better and realized that I am doing my best to balance
everything.
I was especially
grateful for that post after reading this article where the CEO and chairman of Xerox was quoted
as saying “Pick
the places where you want to be great, focus your energies there, and then go
do it.” Along with, “Understand you're not going to be great at
everything, and then relax." It’s good advice, but I can’t always make it work. I want
to be a great wife, mother, and employee. I don’t think that’s
unreasonable. I’ve given up on the idea of having a high-level position
as a choice to spend less time at work, but I still want to be a good employee
in my lower-level role. Until I read that post by Molly Stillman, II felt like
I was living in dissonance with my values because I wasn’t spending enough time
with my family. Her post (not the article) made me stop and realize that
I do make sure that the limited time I have with my family is quality time.
Yes, these are
“first-world problems”, and yes, I recognize that perhaps I should just make a
choice not to be a good employee if my values dictate that my family is first. I do have to support my family financially and in order to do that I have to be a good employee. Also, I like the work I do and find it intellectually stimulating. But I guess the real rub here is that I don’t want to be put in a
position where I have to make that choice. So it was very refreshing to see
someone contribute to the conversation in a positive way and in a way that
actually made me feel better, instead of more desperate.
I’ve decided that I need
to choose to surround myself with more positivity. I had been feeling
somewhat discouraged about the human race in general lately due to being
steeped in negativity, especially since I consume my news online (note to self:
Stop reading comments!) But I was reawakened to the inherent
goodness in the human race and everything we can do for each other by this blog
post. So to everyone out there, not just moms, I know that you’re all
doing the best you can, and if we all do our part to support and validate each
other, the world will be a better place.
